I Wanted it Badly
by chrisvee
Summary: Jacob and Bella spend the day together. He wants her to break it off with Edward. What does she want?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So this is my version of the ending of the Jacob/Bella relationship. I'm team Jacob all the way, but i just felt like writing this. If i get enough views and reviews i will write a actual story, opposed to one-shots. i know what its like to read a one shot and get so captured in it and then feel sad when there's nothing left to read. :P So please read, review, and recommend.

Disclaimer: I SWEAR THERE NOT MINE! (except Jacob((in my dreams ;)))

BPOV

"Bella. Earth to Bella," Edward said shaking me gently.

"Hmm?"

"Are you ok? You zoned out," he asked trying to read my face.

"Yeah, sorry," I answered a bit distracted.

"You know, you're not a good liar."

I hesitated before I answered.

"Why don't you hate me for loving Jacob?" my voice quivered

He held my gaze for a few seconds then, he took my face in his hands. He sighed heavily. I took in his cool breath. His lips met mine in a gentle kiss. My heart melted.

"Because I love you, and I hope you love me too." He answered not breaking eye contact.

"I do love you, but you didn't answer my question."

"I love you, and everything that is you. And if that means loving a flea bitten mutt then I will just have to accept that." His face was unreadable but his eyes were full of sadness.

"Its just-" he put his finger to my lips

"I know. This is my fault. If I hadn't left in the first place you wouldn't even be friends with him." Anger dripped from his voice

"I wasn't going to blame you," I said quietly

"It doesn't matter. It's still my fault," he shifted his body away from me a bit.

I pulled him closer and put my head to his chest. He held me tighter.

"I'm sorry," I said, tears running down my face.

He wiped the tears off with his thumb.

"Don't be," he whispered. Then he started to softly hum my lullaby.

"But I love you more…"I mumbled before drifting into a deep sleep.

EPOV

As I watched her sleep I couldn't help but feel heartbroken.

"What's so special about a stupid pup anyway?" I muttered to myself.

Then I thought back to the day Jacob and I got into that fight over Bella. He was mad because I kept reading his thoughts, so he thought of something I never wished to see.

It was the night I left Bella. At the time I thought it was the best thing for her. Boy was I wrong. The images played through my head like a still frame movie. First it was dark and all I heard were whimpering sounds, then suddenly she came into view. She was lay on the ground in the fetal position, shivering cold, with a tear-streaked face. Her eyes were red and puffy and there were leaves tangled in her hair. "Edward, come back," she whimpered over and over. I cringed. My thoughts were a blur again, but then they stopped.

Another movie began to play. Bella was sitting in Jacob's garage. They were making quiet small talk then, he mentioned something about bloodsuckers. He stopped what he was doing, immediately realizing his mistake. He looked over at her. She was sitting on the ground with her arms around wrapped tightly around herself. I heard Jacob's voice in my head.

"She does that a lot. It's like she's trying to keep herself from falling apart…"

I tightened my grip on Bella. I left her in pieces, and he had put her back together. For that I was grateful. But it still broke my heart thinking about their kiss. She wanted him. Not as much as me, but she still wanted him.

BPOV

"Do you have to?" I whined.

"Yes, but I promise I will be back as soon as I can."

I put on my best pout face.

"Aww, don't do this to me Bella."

I sighed. I walked over and sat on the sofa. I crossed my arms and frowned.

Edward pulled me up and twirled me around. He wrapped his arms around me. I stared up into his eyes. They were a faint black.

"I'm going hunting for your own good."

"What if I want you to bite me?" I retorted

He grimaced and released me.

"Go get your phone and call Jacob. Tell him to meet us at the line."

My eyes widened in confusion.

"While we're gone hunting, the safest place for you will be at La Push, with Jacob." He struggled to say the last part.

"I can always go home," I offered, but really not wanting to.

Edward knew from my tone, I was lying.

"No, besides you haven't been done there since Jacob got hurt."

I thought back to the fight. Jacob's whole right side had been crushed by some newborn vampires. I cringed at the thought. I went and got my phone, I was excited to see Jacob again.

EPOV

"So keep your phone on and I'll pick you up tomorrow at 12."

"And if I want you home sooner?"

"I'll be here in a heartbeat."

I looked into her chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't bear to leave her, but this was for her own good. I would be back before she knew it.

"Promise?" she asked a little tense.

I knew every time I left she got scared I wouldn't come back again. But I would never do that to her again.

"Promise," I whispered as I pushed her against the car and kissed her.

"Hurry up!" said and impatient Jacob in my head.

I chuckled.

"What?" she asked looking up at me.

"Jacob's here."

She looked towards the woods, then back at me.

"So?" and then she kissed me. I felt my cold un-beating heart melt. I kissed her back eagerly but then pulled away. She frowned.

"The sooner I leave the sooner I get back."

"Well then get lost," she grinned

I kissed her forehead and walked to the driver's side.

She waved then walked into the forest. When I heard them greet each other I drove away.

JPOV

I ran up to her and pulled her into a big bear hug, or wolf hug I should say.

"I missed you," I said, my face buried in her hair, taking in her strawberry scent.

"Can't-breath-" she gasped.

"Oops, haha sorry Bells, I just missed you." I laughed and put her down.

"So what are we going to do today?" she asked eagerly

"The gang is down at the beach, wanna go?"

"Yes!" she said running toward the beach.

"Hey! Wait up!" I yelled after her knowing I could catch up easily.

I came up behind her and scooped her into my arms. She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. I sighed.

"This is how things are supposed to be," I said to myself.

BPOV

"Hey guys," I said hopping out of Jacob's arms, stumbling slightly before Jacob caught me.

"Thanks," I said blushing

"Anytime," he whispered looking me in the eyes.

"Ahem," Quil cleared his throat, bringing us back to reality.

"I brought you and extra suit," said Emily from the water. "It's in the bag," she pointed.

"Thanks," I took out the bikini and went to the woods to change.

I managed to slip on the bottoms before I heard rustling in the background. I looked around, my eyes scanning the trees. Nothing. "Hmm…" I said to myself. I was tying the top when two warm hands grabbed me by my hips.

"Need help with that?" Jacob whispered huskily in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Were you watching me the whole time?" I turned to look at him.

"I couldn't resist." He grinned

"Jake, your such a pervert!"

"Your just too beautiful too keep my eyes off of."

I rolled my eyes. "Come on," I grabbed his hand and we walked back to the beach.

As we walked out of the forest, somebody whistled. I looked up. It was Emily, all the guys were grinning, like we had missed the joke.

"Shut up!" I said blushing like crazy

I ran into the water and splashed everyone, Jacob following.

"Jake wanna play?" asked Sam eagerly

"Play what?" I asked

"I don't think Bella's ready," Jacob grinned

"Ready for what!?" I asked annoyed. I didn't like being ignored.

"I think she is," Sam said looking me over.

"I'M READY!" I said, but having no clue what for.

"You sure?" Jacob asked hesitantly

"Yes! Wait, what are we doing?" I asked scared by the tone in Jacob's voice.

Jacob and Sam looked at each other. They smiled then yelled

"WOLF FIGHT!"

Sam grabbed Emily and tossed her on his shoulders. Before I had a chance to run Jake grabbed me and put me on his shoulders.

Emily and I were just rolling our eyes at the guys.

"So the rules are the same as chicken fight, ok?" Sam said aloud.

The rest of the gang sat on the sand waiting for the fight to begin. I heard bets being made. I looked over, it was Paul. Go figure.

"Should I be worried?" I asked Jacob.

"Yes, we're Wolf Fight Champs 2 years running," said Emily smugly.

"Well, I guess it time for some new champs then." I grinned and put on my best game face.

JPOV

"Losers build the campfire AND make dinner!" I shouted from the beach.

I heard Sam complaining about hurting his foot in the middle of the first fight, and Paul complaining about losing 20 bucks. I rolled my eyes.

"7 out of 10, not bad for your first time," I said lying down next to Bella.

"And you said I wasn't ready."

"Well who knew you could be so catty," I grinned.

"I thought dogs hate cats?" she smirked

"Well we could make it work, we always do."

She closed her eyes and was quiet for a while. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the waves.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked quietly, turning my head to look at her

She was quiet, "You," she stated simply without opening her eyes.

"What about me?" I was curious.

"I was thinking about the first time I met you. Do you remember that night?"

"How could I not? I think you were the first girl to ever flirt with me." I felt myself blush.

"I may have been the first girl, but certainly not the last." She grinned

My laughter boomed, making the trees rustle.

"Its true, I see how girls look at you."

"Jealous?"

"You have no idea." She sighed.

I closed my eyes and it got quiet again. "I fell in love that night."

She laughed. I loved her laugh it was light, like tinkling bells.

"So you were sure from that very moment that you loved me, and we were destined to be together?"

"No. I was sure I loved you. It was later when I realized we were destined to be together. It was the night you were telling me about how I was your personal sun. I remember being so happy that I could make you happy. Like I was put on this Earth to make you happy, and I was good at it. I'm not good at many things, but I was always good at making you happy."

She was quiet.

"What about you? When did you realize you loved me?"

She remained quiet for a while. "I know I didn't admit it when it was happening, but I've loved you for longer than you know."

"Since when?"

"There were a couple of times, but the first one was back when I first came to your house. Do you remember that? I had brought the bikes over, and you were working on your car. That night, for the first time since Edward left that I slept without nightmares. And I remember waking up and being so excited to go back and see you."

I was quiet. I wanted to hear more.

"Then the other time was when we had finished fixing the bikes and we were driving, and we saw Sam and the gang cliff diving. I told you I wanted to do it, and you said ok. There was no arguing or debating. You didn't treat me like some porcelain doll. I hate how Edward is always so cautious around me, it makes me feel so insecure."

"I think of you a tiny and breakable too. I worry about your safety all the time. I'm just as scared as Edward is."

"Yeah, but you don't keep me bubble wrapped. I know that both of you will protect me no matter what. But you let me live my life. Edward wants me to have all of these "experiences" before he changes me,"

I tensed up at the thought of her as a vampire.

"But proms, and weddings mean nothing to me, I just want to be care-free for once."

I chuckled.

"If we let you be care-free all the time, you'd be in a hospital 24/7."

She stuck out her tongue at me. I couldn't resist, I leaned in and kissed her. At first she was tense, but then she loosened up. My tongue grazed her bottom lip she opened her mouth slightly. Just as my tongue entered I heard footsteps behind us. She pulled away.

"Fuck," I swore in my head. I turned around, it was Quil and Embry. They were grinning and nudging each other.

"Dinner's ready," said Embry trying to be serious.

"Ok," said Bella getting up and dusting herself off. "I'm going to go change. And this time no peeking!" she said to me sternly.

BPOV

I stuck my hot dog on the stick and rotated it above the fire. I could feel Jacob's concerned eyes watching my every move. I felt so guilty I shouldn't have kissed him back. But I wanted it, almost as much as I wanted Edward's kisses. It's too late, not like I could take it back.

"Um, Bella, your hot dogs on fire," said Paul from across the fire.

I looked up, my hot dog was black and ashen. I chuckled and threw it away. I looked at Jacob he was watching me intently. I grabbed another hot dog from the bag then sat back down next to Jacob. There was a gust of wind, and I shivered a bit. Jacob put his arm around me, and my body went tense but then relaxed when the warmth from his body spread through mine. I leaned my head on his shoulder, his grip on me tightened. After going through 3 bags of hot dogs, Jacob suggested a walk on the beach. We walked down to the big tree where we had first met.

"So," I said sitting in the sand.

"Yes?" Jacob asked writing our names in the sand.

"I think there are some things that need to be cleared up," I was hesitant.

"Like what?" he asked curious.

"Like this," I said pointing at both of us.

"What about us? I think things are pretty obvious."

"Do you?"

"Yes I do. Just dump that bloodsucker and I'll be yours forever." He said seriously.

"What makes you think I would just dump him like that?" I scoffed.

"Be serious Bells, you're head over heels for me. That kiss earlier proved it." He said smugly.

I looked away from him. I was speechless.

"Look you don't have to be guilty or anything, I'm sure he'll understand."

"You are such a JERK." I said emphasizing each word.

"What?" he was truly confused.

I stood up. I could no longer sit near him. I walked away.

"Wait Bells, I'm sorry. I didn't think I said anything wrong." He said grabbing my wrist.

I pulled away and turned to face him. I glared at him. "I LOVE HIM!" I took a deep breath and lowered my voice. "And you think a kiss will change that?"

He looked me straight in my eyes, clearly hurt.

"Bella can't you see? This is hurting us both. We can't be happy without each other. And I'm not going to give up this easily."

"Well what do you want me to do?" angry tears running down my cheeks.

"What is holding you back from me? Besides the fact that you love him. I mean, you love me too."

"I just love him more."

He stared me straight in the eyes. "Stop lying to yourself."

"IMPRINTING!" I screamed, about to break down.

"What about it?" he asked tensely.

I've been hurt too much. I don't want to end up like Sam and Leah." I said shaken.

"I won't imprint. If that's all your afraid of, you don't have to worry."

"Don't kid yourself Jake."

"I love you and I would never leave you."

We were both quietly staring at each other. He moved closer to me, I moved back.

"Bella stop being so stupid! I won't imprint!" he said angrily.

"YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT! YOU CAN'T PROMISE ME ANYTHING!" I started to walk away but he grabbed me by the wrist. I yanked my wrist back and turned to face him.

"And the worst part? I saw the whole thing—our whole life. And I want it badly, Jake. I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can't, and it's killing me." I kicked sand over our names that Jacob wrote. Then I ran and I kept running till I was on the other side of the territory line. I was about to pull out my cell phone but then a silver Volvo pulled up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**I didn't think anyone would even read my fanfic. It was a spur of the moment story that I wrote when I was bored in summer school. Who ever said Geometry was good for nothing was wrong. Its good for creativity. Haha so I got some good reviews and I've decided to write some more. I have yet to decide if this should be a story or like part two of the one-shot. Haha. Write a review and tell me what you think. Thanks everyone for the support. Special thanks to: karina5185, JakesXImprint, Edward4eva, & Sepsis

**Disclaimer**: HERS NOT MINE. Neither is the song, Its "With Me"—Sum 41.

BPOV

I sat on my bed folding laundry. I was still a bit bitter since my argument with Jacob. And I needed a break from everything. Including Edward. I heard my cell phone ringing downstairs. I went to get it

"_I don't want this moment to ever end_

_Where everything's nothing without you_

_I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile_

_'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you_

_I want you to know_

_With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul_

_I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show_

_And I won't let go_"

I looked at the caller id. It was Jacob, again. I pushed the 'ignore' button. I was not in the mood for him today. I put it down on the counter and went back upstairs. Halfway down the hall my phone began ringing again. I turned around and glared at the phone. I grabbed it, went outside and threw it at the tree. It broke into pieces.

"That felt good," I said liberated. "But Edwards not going to like it." I just stared at the pieces lying at the bottom of the tree.

_RIIINNNG RIIINNNG!!_ The house phone taunted me. I spun around and marched into the kitchen.

"I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING TALK TO YOU! I THOUGHT I MADE THAT CLEAR!!" I screamed in to the phone.

"Well I wasn't aware of that, I'm sorry," said Edward.

"Oh, its you." I was relieved.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'll call late--"

"NO, wait I'm sorry. I thought you were Jake." I sat on the counter still frustrated.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'd be happy to come over," he offered eagerly.

"No. I'm sorry, but I need my space today. I have a lot of things going on. I know that if you come over I'll get distracted." I heard him chuckle.

"Ok, but promise me that if you need someone to talk to, you'll call me. I'm here for you Bella."

"Ok."

"I love you."

"I love you more."

"I won't get into this now, but I love you more."

"Your so childish," I giggled.

"Excuse me! I'm 100 years older than you."

"Goodbye Edward," I said rolling my eyes.

"I love you," he said before hanging up.

I went into the living room and turned on the television. I channel surfed for a few minutes, before stopping on a cooking special.

"Hm, Charlie would like that, maybe I should try that." I stood up to go find a pen and paper, when I heard a car pull up. I went to the window, it was Jacob. I ran to the front door and locked it. He trudged up the front porch.

_DING DONG_

I sat on the stool in the kitchen just staring at the door.

"Should I let him in?

No!

But he came all this way,

No!" I debated in my head.

He knocked on the door, "BELLA! I know you're in there, just let me in! We need to talk! Please."

"Jake, do me a favor and go to the tree outside and look at the ground. What do you see?"

I heard him walk down the porch steps and a few minutes later I heard him walk back up.

"What is you phone doing all busted up at the bottom of a tree? Did you trip and fall on your phone?" he asked laughing

"I THREW IT AT THE TREE, WHEN YOU WOULDN'T STOP CALLING. DO YOU GET WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS?!" I yelled. That shut him up.

"I'm sorry Bells, please just let me in, I feel stupid taking to a door."

"NO." I said defiantly, crossing my arms.

"Five minutes please. That's all I'm asking for, five minutes."

"Fine, but if you insult Edward I will kick you out. Go to Vegas, marry Edward, and have him change me tonight." I said completely serious.

"Ok, I promise," he said solemnly.

I opened the door, and without looking at him went and sat on the couch in the living room. Jacob came and sat next to me. I tensed up. He grabbed the remote and muted the TV.

"Bella, will you look at me," he asked softly.

"No," I spat. He sighed, and buried his face in his hands.

"Look, I came to talk to you. And I'm not leaving till we do." He said defiantly

"What's there to talk about?" I was glaring at the mantel, there was a picture of Jake and me. Back, before he became a werewolf. We looked so happy. My eyes started to tear.

"Why are you crying Bells?" he asked softly

"Its what I do. Look, just say what you have to say and leave."

He sighed, "I just want you to think about all your options before you choose Edward."

"I've told you my reasons for choosing Edward, you're just not listening."

"Your choosing Edward, because of something as ridiculous as IMPRINTING?!"

"Well it's obviously not so ridiculous, I mean look at Sam and Emily."

"Will you stop playing that!? Yeah so it happened to someone in the pack, big deal!"

"Big Deal? BIG DEAL?! YES IT'S A BIG FUCKING DEAL JAKE! YOU'RE NOT WORRIED BECAUSE EITHER WAY YOU'LL HAVE SOMEONE, WHETHER IT BE ME OR SOME OTHER GIRL YOU'LL HAVE SOMEONE! WHAT ABOUT ME? HOW DO YOU THINK I'LL FEEL WHEN YOU COME HOME ONE DAY, AND SAY THAT YOU LOVE SOMEONE ELSE?!" I was so mad I was shaking.

"I told you, I will never love anyone more than you!" he said looking me straight in the eyes.

"I KNOW JAKE, YOU'LL NEVER LOVE ANYONE _MORE_ THAN ME! BUT YOU'LL STILL LOVE SOMEONE ELSE." I said not bothering to try and stay calm.

"WELL THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOUR DOING TO ME AND EDWARD!"

"I TOLD YOU THAT I WANT EDWARD! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL! EDWARD! NOT YOU!" a pang of guilt shot through me when I saw the hurt in his eyes.

"Look, I didn't mean it as harsh as it sounded, I just-"

"Yes, you did." he was staring at the picture on the mantel.

"No, I didn't. Its just, every time we talk all you do is hurt me. And I'm sick of it Jake."

"I don't mean to." I turned to glare at him, how could he be so ignorant?!

"OF COURSE YOU DO! IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HURT ME YOU WOULDN'T KEEP FORCING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN YOU AND EDWARD! EDWARD NEVER MAKES ME CHOOSE! HE'S OK WITH WHATEVER MAKES ME HAPPY!" I stood up and walked to the front door. I opened it, "GET THE FUCK OUT! DON'T CALL, AND DON'T COME BACK!"

He went and stood in the doorway.

"Well maybe that's what makes him a fool. I refuse to give you up that easily!" I slammed the door in his face. I heard a loud howl.

"How can he say that? Edward is not foolish, he just does what will make me happy." I sat on the kitchen stool contemplating everything when the house phone started ringing.

"Will there be no END?!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up. "Hello!"

"Don't do it Bella."

"Alice? What are you talking about? Don't do what?" I was confused.

"Whatever you're going to do to Edward. Don't. He'll be heartbroken, even if it's just a test, don't do it. You'll kill him," she said.

"Alice, I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Promise me Bella." She said sternly.

"Ok I promise not to do whatever it is I'm going to do," I said sarcastically.

It was quiet.

"Bella, Edwards futures not changing. You better not do this to him, I promise I will block my thoughts from him in case you change your mind, just please don't do this to him." She hung up.

"What the?" I wasn't thinking about doing anything, was I?

**A/N**: so yeah, sorry it was shorter I haven't had a lot of time, with summer school and all. But guess what?! There's this new kid in my class, he sits right in front of me. He is really tall, he has bronze skin, long shaggy black hair and dark brown eyes. He's kind of goofy but he still has the air about him. You know? Like he's been through a lot. And to top it off his name is…JACOB! Haha, I know weird right? Well hopefully he will be my muse. With someone that hott sitting in front of me, maybe I will be inspired to write a killer story. Well you know the drill, please review :) --chrisvee


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